Special Guest Lecturer

Being the elected president and secretary of the college science club they were in charge of the guest lecture that morning.  They verified the auditorium for all the power points and the sound system, the guest gift, the water bottles etc. and one was telling the other “I don’t know what sort bore that doctorate lady from UK is going to be and that too happening as the first thing in the morning I have to be alert till the end since it’s my job to propose the vote of thanks……….. “ Stretching herself she said “Got up early today to tie a sari….”

“Don’t worry, I will chip in in case….. But even if both of us doze off there is one ‘enthu’ junior already present there with her note and pen….. I can grab it from her “said the other laughing.

Hand in hand they walked out to the reception to receive the guest.

The introduction of the guest was by the HOD who said that she happy to tell the gathering  that today’s guest was old student college  who won the Tamil Nadu young scientist award  for her post graduate research and was the best outgoing student of that year. More than all these  she won the British scholarship that had helped her to pursue her research at UK and today she had come to share  her findings and she was happy to welcome her brilliant student to address the gathering.

The guest thanked her teacher for this sky high compliment and started her talk “As the alumni of this wonderful institution I am proud to address this august gathering with my research findings.” And turning slightly towards the two girls she winked at them and said “Before I do it I would like to assure my student friends that I will not bore you.”

The two girls were already down in the dumps when that ‘enthu girl’ was led to the stage by the HOD and the entourage with fanfare. Now a sharp arrow had been pointedly thrown at them! They were embarrassed beyond words. They never anticipated that a girlish looking person who was sitting in the front row before time, dangling her feet could be the guest lecturer of the day!

The guest had actually arrived early and being an old student she went and sat in the front row without any fuss or formality!

The two girls somehow made sure that they met her in private and profusely apologised to her for their uncouth behaviour. “ I could have done the same in your position” she said it with a smile “and you can easily blame it on the size!” 

The Gender Monopoly

It was the golden jubilee celebration in a prestigious institution and the engineers who passed out 50 years ago, including my husband, had an emotional and joyful time reminiscing their good old days in the campus.

As a part of the big celebration a concert by the super singers was in full swing. As soon as the instruments began to play a particular tune the gang which could identify that song rose to a big uproar of appreciation. I turned around to look for some hooligans among the 70+year’s oldies who had gathered there but that was not to be…..it was a gang of young girls, the budding engineers who had come to watch the free show in the open theatre and mind you….it was not boys who were responsible for this uproar!

During the dinner time the prime topic of discussion was the monopolization of the campus by the girls. One of the granddaughters studying in grandpa’s college shared with us the information that in any college function or tournament it is the girls who are the cheer leaders and the boys indeed seem to take a back seat! 

“Lucky girls…..” I said. “When I was doing the UG in a one horse town boasting of a single college prestigiously known as the ‘Cambridge of South India’ we   were prisoners rather than college students! We had no right to move around in that sprawling campus. We had no right to sit under the trees on the banks of River Kaveri and enjoy the cool breeze! As we entered the college through the pedestrian bridge over Kaveri our companions should be girls in the absence of which it should be a quick stride with the head bowed down. This was our protective first circle!

There were two rooms adjacent to the principal’s office, one for the few lady lecturers who accidentally land up in the place due to compulsory transfers and the next bigger one is for the students! Our duty was to contain ourselves in the ladies room and be in the protective circle of the principal!

For flag hoisting and assembly sessions we ladies would line up in the veranda front of our rest room while the boys filled the lawns!

If ever any one happened to see a handful of ladies standing outside a class it should be understood that it was no punishment but rather a waiting time for the lecturer to enter the class……. Can’t believe it? But that was the truth! Girls were not supposed to enter the class till the lecturer walked in! The row of desks at the corner closest to the entry door was reserved for the ladies and any extra seats in that row were forbidden for the boys! Second and third protective circles! At the end of the lecture the girls would walk out of the class first. It was part and parcel of the lecturer’s the duty to make sure that the girls left the place before him.  Fourth protective circle from another angle!

And as we changed classes every hour this ritual was followed with passion!

And thus our modesty was thoroughly protected by the college authorities”

As I ended the story, everyone laughed out except the one who declared that she had an even sadder story than mine as a zealous student.

“Today I have come to this institution as a spouse of an engineer having completed his studies 50 years ago. But I came to this same institution 50 years back with the record creating marks in my PUC with a great passion to do my engineering. But my application was rejected on a very frivolous excuse that I was a girl.  I didn’t want to take this ‘no’ lying down.  I met the principal and told him about my ardent desire to do the engineering course.

“But this is just for boys my dear “he explained

“Then show me an engineering college for women. While there is an arts college meant for women and a home science college for the same gender….. Where can I go and satisfy my great passion of becoming an engineer” one of the wife of my husband's classmate expressing her frustration in the 1960s.

“But why do you want to take up engineering. The purpose of getting a degree is to have good catch in the marriage market. Go for home science and become a very good home maker and you may prove to be a good daughter in law.” said the principle of the engineering college to her.

“Did you quietly listen to him?”

“I was very upset and angry…. But couldn’t give expression to it lest I lose my ultimate goal. So I continued

“Sir take the other professional course, medicine… where members of both gender study together. Is not engineering an equally prestigious and a professional one?”

“My dear girl I don’t have any answer to your clever arguments but think of my position. I don’t even have separate toilet for you……. I don’t even have a room where you can eat your lunch, I don’t even have a lady lecturer to whom you can confide and most of all I have to appoint a security specially for you who can safe guard you from this teaming young and energetic men……… moreover the constitution of the college had to be amended to let you in and I can vouch for the conservative nature of the board which would be responsible for this amendment. Can you please save me from all these tribulation?”

It was a passionate request to her from the man with folded hands.

We were eager to know how the story ended!

“I had no other option than to join an arts college and it was Midas’ touch for me throughout the college days and was a star student and I proved my prowess in the banking sector and till today act as a consultant”

“You seem to be having an interesting time throughout your career my dear…. I can tell from my man that engineering is not all as that exciting as yours! You are lucky that you were refused a seat. Instead of spending your days with machines and the likes you had served people well “The spouse of an engineer who had moved with her man and his machines till he retired thus beautifully closed the discussion on this subject!

Easiness of Great Meditation

As an unwritten rule our children don’t make a fuss over mother’s and father’s day. They think it is too commercial where the quality of affection is equated or lowered  to the discounts offered on goods and services.

 But I made an exception for the yoga day. Even though it is politicised the innumerable articles and TV shows on the subject  helped  to appreciate  the beauty of this exercise which has the ability to  elevate the mind!

I am fortunate to come across these beautiful words and I would love to share it with you and  wish and hope that you enjoy and  experience the   wonderful feeling of peace and serenity.

• Take off the knots created by of your ego
• Remove the knots  of your anger
• Take off the knots  of your jealousy
• Take off the knots of  your disappointments
• When you have smoothened all the knots feel little by little.
• the lightness of your body
• Now sit and loosen up yourself
• Sit straight
• Sit alone
• Sit pleasantly
• Sit with love towards self
• Sit with happiness
• Give out the fragrance of love
• Become the fragrance
• Sit lightly
• With all this goodness happiness and fragrance surrounding you, lightly close your eyes
• Feel and enjoy the eye lids tenderly caressing each other
• Imagine you are sitting on a beautiful fragrant thousand petal white lotus in the early morning pool.
• Enjoy this feeling every morning and evening
• This is the greatest form of meditation

The Minority Tribe

Many of you might have gone through these misadventures or may be worse ones while attending weddings where the organisers prioritise the majority non vegetarians leaving the minority to the custody of nearby vegetarian hotels.

 We were at a wedding.

“Vegetarians please go up” A person was pleasantly requesting the guests. We acknowledged him smilingly and moved up.  If we had been looking for a pleasant hall we would have been disappointed. There were just two tables placed adjacent to the kitchen and we were asked to make ourselves comfortable. The burnt logs pulled out from the stove were creating a smoky ambience around us. There was a power cut and the gen set connection was not extended to this poor vegetarian section.  Sweaty with burning eyes we had our wedding feast of half cooked rice and walked away as quickly as we can!

We were happy to note that at another venue the arrangement for vegetarian was as good as the non-vegetarian section. But by the time we came after wishing the newly married and tete et tete with the known guests the vegetarian food had gone with the wind!!

 It was another wedding venue. Even though the non-vegetarians were in majority beautiful arrangements had been made for vegetarians too with an aesthetic shamiana in place and important hosts wishing everyone and requesting one and all to enjoy the lunch. The items were many and the vegetarian servers who usually prefer to be topless showing off their sweaty upper body were fully clothed! But the moving guests the serving team and the running children had created a dusty layer and the effect was that along with the food we had to enjoy the fine dust too! They forgot to put a carpet over the soil!

We have taken a strong decision with regard to eating vegetarian feast in a mainly non-vegetarian wedding feasts.

We didn’t want to give an excuse of sickness or emergency hospital visits since those do not augur well with the occasion.

The planning goes thus

1. As we wish the newlyweds and shown our gift promptly as ordered by the photo and videographers and registered our presence by posing along we can quietly walk out Suppose we were caught in the middle by a known host

2. “What a wonderful treat… by the way where have you kept the paan? This food needs that for proper digestion.” In case we were caught just off the stage when this gimmick doesn’t work

3. “There is an important event where our presence is a must… explain to you later.” As we utter these words we should be on our run unavailable for a subsequent inquisitive questioning.

As we were discussing these options we never anticipated a problem in an entirely different sort would crop up before us. It was a phone call from our son.

"Dad you remember Sri who was your right hand man during my wedding?” “He is getting married now.  Since he is starting late from US he couldn’t come to our house to invite you. Instead his father would come in person to give the invitation. Even though it is an effort on your part to go so far please attend the wedding. And Appa I don’t want you to send anyone else. Mum and you have to reciprocate that affection.” It was more of a command from the land of Obama than a docile request to the respectful Indian parents!

That marriage was happening in a village in the vicinity of Sivagangai. Taking a wrong turn we lost our way and on that rustic route the back tyre of the car got punctured. Exasperated we arrived at the venue only around noon. We were lucky that the father was there to welcome us amidst the unknown crowd and without taking us in to wish the newly married, which he said could wait, took us straight to the dining area. As  they started serving the food we realised that we were being served non vegetarian food. As we slowly wriggled out, the worried father came running and we did the explaining

“I thought you were all non-vegetarians”

“You are right but just the two of us…..”

Our host was thoroughly disillusioned. His son’s best friend’s parents were not able to part take in this luxurious banquet!!  Not to be undone he took us to the hall and ordered someone to get cool drinks.

We dared not to open our mouth to say ‘no’ to this offer. Poor man……. we didn’t want to hurt him.

Dry and cold rice, watery  sambar  some rasam  smelly  butter milk and soggy over fried appalams was the fare sitting in front of us.

Our host was furious and shouted “Where did you get this useless food? I wanted you to go to Rassapa’s place to get food with vadai and payasam…”  he reprimanded

“ Rassapa had closed shop today to be here for our wedding……”

We made a great effort to relish it!

“Are you always a vegetarian?” asked the grand old man who was the grandfather of the bridegroom in a concerned voice.

“No, no it was just some time back that we decided to opt for vegetarian.”

His admonition was; “Don’t do it please, your body will lose all your energy and vitality. I don’t know how you manage it” he looked down at us with pity!!

He continued “It is big effort for us to eat that miserable vegetarian food on Fridays and New moon days. At least a piece of dry fish is essential to go with it.”

This grand old man was sailing in the same boat as  the Bangladeshis who recently entertained the Indian Prime Minister Modi and came to know that he was a pure vegetarian. They exclaimed “What ……… he doesn’t eat fish?!! He doesn’t touch prawns…!!? “Poor man what else can he eat?!!”

As we parted the wedding festivities and as a compensatory measure for all that we missed, all the delicacies were packed for the rest of the family.

“The food will not get spoilt for two days. The Chettinad cooks are world famous for their careful cooking.”

As we were ready to start the grand old man, with lot of concern in his eyes, peeped through the window of the car and we lowered it. Holding my husband’s hand he said “you are all highly educated people……but please listen to this old villager for once. you might have become a vegetarian for last few years, but your own well being ……  please come back and join our non vegetarian fold!”

His folded hands with rustic concern and love had indeed touched our heart if not the food!

The Flex Boards of Tamil Nadu

I had a persisting doubt in my mind.

What is your great doubt that friends like us can’t sort it out for you?

 “Could you tell me the place of origin of this flex culture which had entered into the state of Tamil Nadu on the sly and, like "Vetal of the Vikkramadityan" story, holding it in its iron grip?

My friends looked at me sarcastically at my ignorance! But they did indeed explain to me in detail

 Most of our Tamil Nadu politicians were born out of our Tamil cinema and Tamil cinema had the culture of bill boards and when these politicians became our rulers they carried this powerful advertising tool with them and with technological advancements the bill boards metamorphosed into the cheap and best  flex boards and we the people of Tamil Nadu, the virtuous followers of these heroes and heroines followed them to the core and their accompanying flex culture naturally attached itself to us and  now we don’t know where to stop  and like a mangal sutra for a wedding it has become an inseparable and important element of  all our social get-togethers and  house hold functions and celebrations!!

We often traverse the Chennai-Trichy national highway (NH 45) and whenever a village approached we kept our fingers crossed anticipating the atrocious flex boards   of the day. We were never disappointed.

On that particular day there was indeed a huge flex with a baby faced girl inviting one and all for the celebration of her first menstrual cycle! Her makeup was terrible with rouge on her cheeks, green and pink mascara on the eye lids red lipsticks on her lips…… did they stop with that….? No way..!Like a bharatha natyam dancer she had her moon and sun brooches apart from the rakkodi and forehead chain and her long braid had flower decoration. As if this was not enough thanks to the influence of TV over her eye brows she had another row of white dots like the Bengali bride and sandalwood pottu like the Kerala girls!

There was a necklace and poothali closer to her neck followed by dollar chain, jasmine bud chain followed again by a coin chain. As a last straw she was in a big pattu sari gifted by her maternal uncle

Like a sacrificial goat she posed ……….

 Should we Tamilians not be ashamed of our unwanted publicity…… for an occasion which needed lot of education for the female child?

In those days when there was no four lane highway there used to be boards announcing the degree of danger on a particular part of the road like “Caution! Highly dangerous curve!” In the same manner on the same highway I saw a really frightful flex which I would love to share with you

 “Goat sacrifice for Lord Ayyanar and ear piercing for the children “announced the board.

 On one side of the flex Lord Ayyanar was sitting on a horse with frightening big red eyes and flying hair adorned with crown. While his left hand was holding the reins on the other hand was holding a shiny big sword which he was swishing around with vigour. On the other side of the flex there were three little toddlers with fright writ all over their face! The children’s photo could have been a separate entity but the combined effect was indeed a horror story!

We stayed for some days in the village and a visit to the village invariably entailed a visit to river Kollidam at the village of Thenkatchi. A tractor load of relatives of various hues and kinds were there with an interesting breakfast of idly and kesari after a dip in the flowing river.

As I was floating in the shallow waters I enquired my local cousin how his shop was doing. “These politicians are indeed creating ruckus around the place.” He started his lamentations. “On full moon days and new moon days people used to visit temples but today the culture is topsy turvy. On these days they hold party meetings and conferences all through the night. The other day a man was digging  holes in front of my shop and I told him that there was already a big hole dug by the panchayat aeons ago and still left opened and if he was to dig some more to fix the flex the business for small traders like us would be affected. “I am asked just to dig holes at this place” He shouted at me and throwing his digging implements walked away. After a while there was a burly party man who addressed me thus, “What do you think of yourselves? Don’t you know that our leader had the majority vote from here? And you had the guts to protest against his flex board? We have every right to fix it wherever we wish and we can even close your b..i..g… super market and fix the flex right on that spot” I knew that he was not a local person and had come here to show off his power. Local politicians usually created bonhomie of sorts with the local business community. I didn’t talk to him and taking my vehicle went away from that troubled spot.”

“What happened then?”

“When I went back they had left a small entry gap for my shop while completely hiding the next one!”

“I have an even bigger story that this flex had created in our place.” an uncle who was listening joined in.

“It was a bride’s side wedding and busloads of guests from the boy’s side were filling up the whole area. But all of a sudden people among them were agitated and soon it was turning into war of words. In the middle of this was an old woman whose voice was rising to great decibels by seconds.

She was the paternal grandmother of the boy and getting down from the bus the first thing she witnessed was the flex board wherein both the sides of the family from the grandparents of the bride and groom were welcoming all and sundry for the wedding. That’s a good idea but what was the problem? While the girl’s side female members were wearing jewels neck to neck in the flex the boy’s side members were adorned in measly single chain! The grandmother thought they were indeed humiliated by this unbecoming flex board. She exclaimed “What do they think of my grandson? For his qualifications and earnings people were queuing up in front of my door and these disrespectful people had the audacity to make this poster. At the height of anger she shouted at her son to cancel the wedding and go back home and conduct the wedding at their temple with another girl at the same auspicious time and hold a grand reception at a later date with big flex boards (putting these measly boards to shame) adorning the whole wedding procession route!

But the culprit of this whole proceeding was the bridegroom. When his would be in law asked for family photos for the flex he looked at the photogenic quality of the photos rather than the adorning jewels. Now he had to manage the show.  His grandmother was the eldest in the family and people respected her words. What if she had her way with his marriage? He was in a big dilemma. With the culture of cell phone flourishing the chat and the Skype adding vigour his marriage had blossomed into an ardent love affair from which he would not like to come out.

Instantaneously he place a quick call across to his would be partner explain the situation. She indeed had a plan!!

On the pretext of grandma needing some rest from this heat the grandson led  her into an air-conditioned place  where they would be bride was waiting As the lady entered the room she fell flat on grandmother’s feet with a visible single small chain around her neck and as a further precaution showered the old lady with kisses. The flabbergasted woman was beyond words except wishing her would be granddaughter in law all the best in life and also with a query why she hadn’t adorned herself with her jewels!!

While the psychological endearing was proceeding the  girl’s father  called on the friends who had affectionately placed those 10 calamitous flex boards which had the capacity to stop the wedding itself and told them that they had to manage and make sure that those boards were never in the vicinity of the wedding hall.

“I didn’t know how many workers they employed, how many banana plantations they destroyed “ continued the uncle “But before the bridal procession could start they whole path was adorned with  fresh and greenest banana trees intertwined beautifully with colourful serial lights. So all was well on that day that ended well. “

We joined in his laughter along with hand full of sweet kesari and with the determination never to go near the flex in our family function.

Fooled by Appearance

Super markets are not my forte. I prefer the grocery shops. The main reason is that they don’t pack every item in the polythene bags. You can take your own bags and from the jute sacks filled with condiments, your bags will be filled to the right measure. This way dust bins need not be stuffed with unwanted plastics  endangering our fragile eco  system. Secondly the imprint of the childhood days when every grocery purchase was accompanied by country sugar mixed with fried grams had still retained my soft corner for the shop owners even though they don’t follow the good practice now!! Thirdly we need not queue up for payment with the “no eye contact” zombie super market cashiers and if in a hurry you can make a request for a fast forward payment with the shop keeper who can manage the situation with other customers and oblige you.

That particular day as guests were to arrive at home I finished my shopping in a hurry and tried to lift the bags to the auto. But it was beyond me and the lady at the cash who was watching called a person from inside and asked him to put the bags in the auto. Sitting in the auto I thanked him and pressed a 5 rupee coin making sure that my action was not witnessed by the owner.

“No madam” he politely refused and hurried back to the shop.

“He must be upset. I should have tipped him a tenner” I told myself. Or the lady must be paying her assistants well to refuse a tip! Or it might be a business tactics to increase the sale. Whatever might be the reason I was happy about ladies setting up quality standards in all fields including a grocery shop!!

I missed the lady for quite some time in the shop. When I saw her again and enquired about her absence she informed me that her husband got into an accident and had fractured his leg. She had to be with him in the hospital and brought him back home just yesterday.

“That man does not listen at all……. I always advise him never to over speed in his bike which invariably falls on deaf ears …… now it is not just that he is mourning all the time but the whole family had to bear with all his lamentations……Even with a head ache he can make a big fuss and now with a fracture, it is the end of the world for all of us”

Next time when I happened to visit the shop she informed me that he was better but the bandage had to be still there and he would be back to normal very soon. I was happy for that lady.

When I was again in the grocery shop I saw the lady stepping out of an auto with a well-dressed man who was limping. She slowly guided him to the shop and seated him at the cash counter.

“Now don’t run around the shop.” She said to him “People are there to take care of everything. “Murugaiah…..you are responsible for him….Now I will finish an important bank work and come back soonl”

With intention of  wishing the owner's husband well when I went near the cash counter I had the shock of my life! The man who assisted me with my grocery bags the other day was indeed her husband and the co-owner of the shop!!

His folded lungi and the all-pervading pungent grocery smell hath indeed led me astray! What a silly person I was! Had the audacity to tip the owner with a 5 rupee coin!! And that man’s respectful reply to my misguided assumption taught me a lesson in magnanimity!

Most Precious Two Rupee

On 15 th July 2013 the international Airport at Chennai was opened on a trial basis and the

Passengers had to close their nose from the stench at the toilets! This was the newspaper report

I had an   even bigger adventure with the toilets in the new Bangalore Airport in the same month

These two occurrences may be unbelievable to you but this in truth is the Indian Quality Standard for you

 The story goes like this:

7 th of July 2013  was an early rise  day  for us both since my husband and I had to take the morning flight to Bombay from Bangalore and as everyone  know  the Bangalore airport lies at the far end of the city and consumes  nearly two hours to reach from Electronic city where we were staying. In addition we were planning to have the local culinary speciality of masala dosa at the airport for breakfast.  These two factors necessitated the early start. 

As a policy we adhere to the routine consuming one litre of water in the early morning and that day was no exception. My husband might falter on days but cleansing of my system with drinking   a mandatory litre of water was the first part of my ablution process. And hence when we reached the airport after an hour and forty five minutes, the urge for a visit to the toilet became imminent. Informing my husband to order for the dosa and reserve two seats in that crowded restaurant, I rushed across towards the ‘toilet arrow’ which righteously indicated the right direction. Satisfied with this information I happily walked forward but the path led me to the outside of the airport where vehicles were picking up and dropping passengers and security personnel were controlling the vehicles at the pedestrian crossing. Assuming that I had misread the indicator I walked back into airport but the arrow very rightly indicated the the direction I had taken! Taking the right turn I tried a small detour to the right at a junction but as we are used to in India,   ‘some work in progress’ was vigorously happening there. By now I was at the bursting point of nature's call! I hastily retraced my steps back to the indicator point and saw my redeemer in the security personnel there and he too directed me in the tested and proven direction on the ‘right!’ I rushed forward impervious to the vehicles and proceeded straight further. There among the bushes I saw some activities of men hovering around and now I was sure that the ladies' toilet would not be far off!

I identified the ‘lady in the frock’ sign easily but another surprise was awaiting me! A board at the entrance indicated that to use the facility a fee of two rupees is collected and the toilet papers cost another three rupees! And a lady sitting in a chair with a table in front was presiding over the collection process! Paid toilets?!! At the airport?!! We pay an exorbitant price for the tickets and is it not the courtesy on the part of the authorities to provide this basic facility to the passengers?!! I was fuming. Helplessly I wondered where I was to find this two rupee. Anybody might have easily suggested to me “Pull out your purse string lady and if you don’t find the coin take out a note and give it to the person concerned, rush across and get the change later or ask the person to keep the change.”

 I could understand your sarcasm. But my dilemma was of a different nature. Generally when both my husband and I go out my husband becomes my sole creditor and expense manager and service provider. I neither carry my hand bag nor my cell phone. Today I knew that this was my undoing! If I have to rush back to my husband who was at the other end of the airport the damage would have been done. Then I saw an elderly couple walking along the path and enquired whether they paid the two rupees. The woman was flabbergasted by my enquiry and in a pacifying tone told me “It’s just two rupees; keep it on the table and you can go inside”.  I asked the gentle man if he could lend me two rupees. He not only understood me but considerately gave me not two but four rupees and said “You

can use it if someone else is with you.” But luckily no one was accompanying me in this mad adventure! I took the two rupee coin from him and my request to return the same was refused with a benign smile by those lovely couple!

I paid and having relieved the internal pressures that was building up, I sheepishly returned to find my husband who was totally oblivious to all this adventure!!

And long live the generous couple in whichever part of North India they reside. (They spoke in Hindi to my English!)               

The Moustached Man

It was a cool and pleasant February early morning weather of Delhi. Our first walk at the Buddha Jayanthi Park was a pleasing and energising affair. As we were walking I held my hubby’s hand tight and stood still. He calls this tight hold and immobile pose of me as “The dog phobia” and as a responsible guardian turned around to look for dogs.

Seeing none he asked me “What happened now?”

“Look, I can’t believe my eyes!”

“Oh the pavalamalli, (a jasmine variety of white petals and orange red stem) we have seen enough of it in Chennai.” He said. 

It was a know it all statement and I didn’t like it at all.

 “But have you seen a fence made of pavalamalli?  Ever seen rows and rows of them welcoming you with their heady fragrance when even a single one is an intoxicating concoction! I can’t believe it! Why didn’t we think of this in Chennai?”

“You are right….. Why didn’t we think of this in Chennai?” A pleasant voice made us turn back.

A middle aged couple smilingly wished us with a ‘vanakkam’ amidst the “Ram Rams” of the park.

From then on the walk in the Buddha Jayanthi Park became a much awaited event of our morning life!

One thing led to the other and this bonhomie was a thing of joy for both sides and in those phoneless days the exchange of addresses followed suit. Was it a magic by those rows of jasmines (pavalamalli) ?!!

When we came to know that they were on the lookout for a groom for their daughter I considered it a miracle that there was a very suitable boy from my side. I told them that our family friend who was closer to us than our own relatives and was also looking for a bride for his auditor son and that I would send a letter immediately.

They were happy. Since the girl had done her studies on similar lines it would be a perfect match in their professional life too!

From then on their daughter joined with us in the ‘Buddha Jayanthi park walk’ and preferred my company to the others! “ The semester exams are over and I am free for some proper exercise!” she declared as a matter of fact.

“ A lovable liar indeed!”

I didn’t disappoint her; fed her to the brim about this handsome boy who considered me as his own sister and about his intelligence having his own business at this young age. I also talked about the boy's parents whose company was as delightful as her own parents’! And very much more…!

After a month a reply came from my uncle that there was a big calamity in the house when my letter was received. His son had fallen in love with one of his juniors but never opened his mouth, in spite of fact that his parents were on the lookout for a bride for him.

But a letter from me fixing his bride was indeed a serious one because the boy knew that his parents took me into confidence and my decision was respected always. So he told of his lady love.

I remembered my oft repeated advice of my mother “Maintain a balance in all you do.”

I had indeed committed the mistake of letting our friends daughter’s imagination run riot.

Yet the bitter pill had to be swallowed. I had to open this unhappy message to the family. In their goodness they tried to pacify me.

“Don’t you worry "Quod scribere script est"………. Whatever is written is written”

My husband said “Uncle I had to go on a business trip to Madras and my father is well connected and he would definitely find a better match. “

The family accepted this assurance gracefully though they knew it might be just a placebo.

 “Once bitten twice shy” was my status now and  before his trip I made sure that whichever boy his father was deciding on, the enquiry should be thorough and there ought to be double checking of facts and this process was utterly essential. In case any prospective alliance he came across during his stay he had to personally meet the boy to make sure that there was not an iota of doubt about the credentials of the boy.

Our morning walk that day was not just filled with fragrance but created a happy mood. My husband indeed was the bearer of good tidings!! The boy was an engineer and a gold medallist with a well-paying job and the family was highly esteemed for its good values and yes… they were interested in the alliance.

My hubby said “We will send the full size photo with all the details to my dad and in the same way they would be sending the photo and details to me. This way it would be an informal thing and the photos could be returned without any heart burn in case either party was not interested.

“And we will not talk about it till everything is finalised. Is it ok with all of us?”

It was a double ok from all of us!

The photo from girl’s side had been duly sent and we received the boy’s photo but my husband was not happy

First of all it was just a passport size photo while the boy’s plus point was his height which couldn’t be revealed in a passport size photo. Secondly even though his face was bony his nice moustache counter balanced the structure. But the boy in all his craziness had shaved off his moustache for this special snap!!

“It’s ok; we will pass on the photo to them.”

“No way! What if they reject him based on this silly photo? He is indeed a gem of a boy and very handsome unlike this portrait…”

After much deliberation he decided on a ploy to make the man look handsome. “Just two lines and what a difference it’s going to make!” my hubby told himself. During his college days his excellence in engineering drawings won him many a laurel. He still carried those implements with love and that day he took out his sharpest and the thinnest black pen. Sitting under his drawing table and keeping the snap under the bright lit spot he drew a moustache!! When he showed me his handiwork, I literally got frightened!! With his longish mush the boy resembled more of a bandit’s handy man than a gorgeous groom. My husband concurred that in his enthusiasm he had made the moustache too long and using an ink pen eraser made a reduction which turned the boy into Hitler junior with a caterpillar moustache!  My anguished cry was “Poor chap, please leave him alone”

But the artist never wanted to give up. And after a few more alteration which led to a complete disaster and the outcome was an unrecognisable 'smudged good for nothing' bit of paper.

Without revealing his goof up he quietly sent a letter to his dad asking him for a full size photo of the boy with proper moustache!

We didn’t inform any of these catastrophes to our friends!  They might take it as a not very auspicious sign!

Those were the days when a letter took its own time to travel. Even if the letter reached it would take some more time for the boy to grow a mush. After this process he had to go to the studio to take the photo and the studio owner would take his own sweet time to deliver the print with a mandatory minimum period of 8 days.

And for us to receive the photo would be another time lag.

For some time we avoided the fragrant Buddha Jayanthi park.

But they were worried about our wellbeing and came home one day. We smartly tried our best to conceal all our bungling and assure them that it might be just a postal delay.

 “Don’t worry; we understand that you are hesitant to tell us that they don’t like the girl. But let us not lose our precious friendship over this silly matter. Can you please tell your dad to send back the photo?”

Our dilemma was unbearable and for a second I thought of blurting out the whole story but what could we gain by this effort? I kept quiet.

At last the much anticipated letter from my hubby's dad arrived. With just a cursory glance we handed over the envelop lock stock and barrel to our friends and it turned to be a happy ending!

And our couple recently celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.

But till this day the ‘secret of the moustache less man’ slumbers well only in our hearts!

The pill Phobia

The girl was newly married. She was happy to find that the customs in the new house were more or less the same as the one her childhood home. The family was big like hers and the house was similar to her ancestral one except that it was smaller and with just four coconut trees at the backyard. She thought about the big jack fruit tree at her garden. During the season the ‘smelling’ of the abundant jack fruits clinging to the trunks to identify the ripe ones was an ideal hobby for her and the siblings. That the season coincides with the summer holidays added zest to this ‘smelling show’ what with the additions of many cousins. She would miss all the fun in the new place or maybe they will allow her to go home during the summer vacation!!

As days went by she found out that this family carried an eccentricity of its own. It was the ‘Pill phobia’ which engulfed the whole ambiance of this house hold!

As they started their day either to go to school college or work the children made a bee line for their vitamin pills and it  was received with reverence and piety like the holy prasadam. They were indoctrinated on the efficacy of those pills so much that they could recite by heart all their goodness with the speed reciting an easy mathematical table!  It was a wonder for her when her husband had a medicine box in their room and every day morning before he stepped out of the house for work he would have second breakfast which she named ‘the pill food’! With an assortment of pills in colour and size laid on the lid he would savour each one of them. It was as if he was relishing the sweetest pink guava of her Thanjavur garden! Was he healthy person? If so why was he taking so many pills? In one of her rare calls home (when owning phone was a luxury) she murmured to her mum about this habit but mother warned her not to make a fuss about it and dad would sort it out when he visited her.

Adding more zing to her worries was that her father in law also followed the same routine and the father and the son duo discussed among themselves about the veracity of a tablet depending on the input from their ordinary friends, doctor friends and medical representative friends! They would discuss and argue about the composition of a pill and decided which brand met their standard.

One day when they came home from an outing she had a slight cold. “The evening chillness of December.” she thought to herself. “Things would be fine with the intake of plenty of water.”

 But her husband thought otherwise. He was a worried man. Being newly married he gently suggested to her to take a pill which would ward off her cold in no time! The girl was surprised. “Taking a pill for cold? You must be joking. I will be alright tomorrow morning. “She turned to the other side of the bed and slept off. The poor fellow was helpless!

In spite of her water therapy her cold persisted with a slight cough as an accompaniment. Now the whole family woke up to this emergency situation. Her MIL (mother in law) ordered her not do any work and never to touch water and neither take a bath.

She started laughing.” Amma, in our house” she said “the moment anyone gets a cold we would jump into the river at the back of our house and soak ourselves to our heart’s content. If I take a cold water bath I would be fine in a jiffy. Don’t worry.”

 “Muruga……..” she exclaimed in horror “Cold water bath when you are having a cough and cold?” MIL wanted to articulate so many things about her family and their customs but controlled her tongue. But she continued “Please listen to me. This cold and cough if unattended would create a thick layer of phlegm and sit in your lung and in no time you will develop TB. You are an educated girl and know the implications of TB. If you are not convinced with the medicines your husband suggests, go to your father in law. He has immense experience.” All these cajoling had no effect on her and she said that she would get well in a day or two. She knew that three doses of her ammachi’s (grandmother's) ‘Adathoda’ herbal decoction would make her alright. A piece of 'Adimathuram' (liquorice root) kept in the mouth and sucking its sweetened saliva would take care of the cough!

 Whether it was the psyching out starting first with her husband and spreading like a contagious disease to  the MIL and the FIL (father in law) and the younger ones too (who looked down  at her with pity ) that her cold and cough worsened. She was feeling guilty facing anyone; she was the adamant black cat in the family. She thought about it and as a compromise she said she would see a doctor.

The whole household literally rejoiced and suggested that she went to Chari, their family doctor.  “I will sit outside” said her husband “that chap is bit cranky.”

“Are you the new bride?”

“Yes doctor.”

“Mmmmm… congratulations. I was there for your wedding…… nice boy!”

“Now why have you come here? Is there any fever?”

“Doctor I am having a cold and slight cough.”

“Definitely your husband and father in law would have suggested many medicines to you?!”

 She was startled. Finding a kindred soul at an unexpected corner surprised her!

With lot of enthusiasm she agreed with him and told him about her house hold remedy for cold. A head bath in the river at the back of their house was the cure all solution for cold. Her side of the family indeed treated cold and cough with the needed contempt.

“Hey … that’s great…….. It was the same in Calcutta where I practised for some time. The moment a patient entered the hospital with cold or fever he would be taken straight away to the bath room and two buckets of cold water would be poured right from his head on. See this Thanjavur remedy had travelled a long… long…. Distance…..ha… ha…ha!!”

  He continued “Now listen to me carefully. Go home and make a decoction of dry ginger and pepper and drink thrice everyday with palm sugar. In the meantime I will give you some powdered pills to convince your family or they would be researching the tablets I had given….They are just placebos. Those educated jokers! They don’t know that with all their medications and vitamin pills they are filling their toilet with rich urine!

“Who can change a mind-set?” he sighed

 That conniving man indeed made her happy and whenever she wanted to escape from the family medication possibilities her asylum was ready and waiting with a laughing session as bonus! She would share with him the medical weirdness of the family. Whenever her professor husband went for paper correction he would swallow extra dose of Becosules (vitamin B12 capsule) to vitalise him! The father in law would gulp an extra spoonful of rejuvenating pasty herbal concoction much before his chess tournament in the club.

 “Need to fill the think tank to the brim!!”

All these had indeed become history now. The girl had her own grandchildren. But the husband’s phobia continued but at a different plane. With his heart problem  blood pressure and sugar, his recourse was to maintain a perfect routine with the prescribed medicines. Monitoring his wife’s recommended daily dosage of calcium pills was part of his every day routine. And the wife’s reluctance for anything to do with medicine continued unabated.

It so happened one day that in spite of umpteen numbers of reminders she forgot to take her calcium pill and last reminder from the husband was literally a threat. Irritated she hastily opened the box and popped in the pill and told him that her job was over. His night reminder too was adhered to.

 In the course of a conversation after the night meal she mentioned that she had swallowed two of his pressure pills instead of her calcium ones. That man couldn’t believe his ears! A normal person taking two blood pressure pills? It was indeed an emergency situation! A call to come home immediately to the daughter living close by was given after a brief explanation. She also got panicky and called her doctor friend to describe the situation. But her dad was not happy with all those introductory endearments with her friend. He pulled the phone from her and started giving details. “Doctor she had taken two pills……….. Two blood pressure pills and this is the power and this is its brand name” so saying he called his daughter “Please bring my spectacles, I want to read out to her the composition of the pill; the letters are small.”

 In all these commotion the culprit was sitting calmly! The doctor said “Uncle please don’t worry. I will take care of things. Please can you give the phone to Aunty?”

“How are you my dear girl?” the lady asked.

“I have to ask that question to you Aunty! How are you feeling?”

 “I am fine.”

Then the doctor said “Aunty, in case you feel weak mix some salt and sugar in a glass of water and drink it. But you should promise me to have a separate box for your tablets and never ever to take a mistaken pill.  I will tell uncle to send you to the clinic tomorrow morning for his satisfaction and please come early when there is not much crowd. We will have a nice chat. Is it fine with you?”

“Yes my dear.”

At this juncture that lady remembered dear Chari too and told herself

“Thank God, all through my married life the doctors are my only sane cahoots (partners)!