"Mam, just now I received the
message. Got a girl baby."
I congratulated him but keeping in
mind the Indian preference for a male child I asked him "Are you
happy?"
"Male or female, no regrets
madam." he replied. But I don't understand
the Indian mentality of amassing gold for the female child. While equal
educational opportunity was generously provided for me and my sisters, the
acquisition of gold started in right earnest from day be it the naming
ceremony, around the age of seven 'lamp lighting ceremony', and a grand one
when the girl comes of age. All these functions are just the pretext for the
collection the precious metal. Would you believe that they are named Thangam and Kanchana (implying gold)?
Even our sweet nothing words when we cuddle the baby goes "my gold..... my
diamond..... and so on ." My colleague really wondered!
'Gold consumption' is part of
India's culture and tradition and the country is the world's largest consumer
of gold, followed by China. It is a universal phenomenon across income classes.
Indian households hold 24,000 tonnes
of gold which represents 11% of the global stock and according to year 2012
valuation worth more than $1.6 trillion!
Has the booming Indian literacy
rate brought about a change in the Indian attitude?
Not an inch!! The highly
literate state of Kerala in India is the largest consumer of
gold!
But this unparalleled asset is just a perceived or notional one in
the sense that the households refuse to part with even a gram of it for any necessity or any other kind of
profitable investments!
It is presumed to be a real fall in
the status of a family if gold items are sold.
A newly married man was discussing
with his wife about buying a plot which was coming cheap
through a known source and asked her if she could give some of her jewels. He
continued that along with his savings they could buy the place for themselves and
the plot could be registered in her name. He also promised that they could
buy ornaments with new designs with his future savings. But what happened in
the process was a big jolt to the man.
The whole family from her mother's
side were up in arms against the poor chap!
"Did we give the jewels for our
daughter for you to dispose them for your whims and fancies? What happens to
the prestige of our family if she goes
to the temples, functions and weddings bare necked empty handed? If she
does not wear all the sixty sovereigns
she would be laughing stock of the whole family. Beg borrow or steal we
don't care but never ever touch our girl's jewel."
This unanticipated assault threw the
boy off his balance and that was the day when he promised to himself never ever
to open his mouth regarding her jewels. That plot today is a
large three floor apartment worth multifold of all her gold possessions
and no one really knows if the girl is
remorse about her erroneous judgment and
the dead assets she guards with her life!
When a grandmother asked her grandchild what
would she do when she died anticipating
an emotional reply the girl cooed
"In that case grandma, can I have your gold necklace studded with
diamonds and the matching bangles?"
The thirst for gold I think is very much in our genes!
Our mother used to tell us this
funny story. When she got married and went with her husband to a village where
he was the headmaster of a middle school
the ladies were in awe to see her wearing gold bangles. In that village
it seemed ladies wore only glass bangles however rich they were. They believed
that since hands were often used the wear and tear of the gold would be heavy
and thus a waste of the precious metal!
But the craze for a gold ornament in their hands on the great occasion
of their wedding was too tempting for the brides to be of the village that my
mother was hesitantly approached for her gold bangles for the occasion, which
of course she generously parted
with. What started as a diffident request gained the status of a
custom and my mother's bangles became
the mandatory adornment for all the
village weddings!
When we were young our numerous
maternal uncles got married and the brides
came in with plenty of gold jewelry. During family functions and
weddings they would deck us with fancy
hairdo with plenty of jasmines and adorn us with one of their gold
necklaces. With the gold adorning our
necks we felt like princesses for the occasion and our happiness index was at
its zenith for the day! In our big family of six girls it was impossible for our
mother to deck all of us with gold!
When
I got married and landed in dear old Calcutta in the late sixties I was
surprised to see girls with empty
necks and unpierced ears which was unheard of in the Tamilian
circle.
"What a wonderful freedom these
Bengali girls enjoy?" I mused
As youngsters whenever we went out to play mother's routine advice was
" Take care of the ear stud, tighten the screws." We accepted her
advice just at the face value and the
occurrence of loss was inevitable in the
family of six daughters! And there would be general ban on outdoor games for
the whole lot of girls at least for a few days while the boys were scot free to
enjoy their evenings as usual. In this wonderful land of Bengal I was
determined to give my little daughter
this beautiful freedom which was beyond my reach!
When we came back to dear old Madras
with our seven year old daughter's unpierced ears it was indeed
a scandal and the goldsmith was ordered to come home and the piercing ceremony took place
without the usual fanfare!!
While gold was harsh on some people
like the newly married man in our narration gold in our house had a entirely
different role to play! All of a sudden my mother's chain would be missing from
her neck. When enquired she would say it had gone to school. Her statement
baffled us at our childhood about the sort of school the jewels would go our youth taught us that the jewels were pawned for some urgency
what with six girls and four boys in various stages of academics and marriageable
age !
Our parents of the lower middle
class were idealists who believed in giving good education to all their
children without sex bias. But this
decision kept them in ever present monetary pressure which they bore with great
equanimity!
Even today I remember this incident vividly since it
happened in my life when I was in a prestigious college in Madras pursuing my
PG course staying in the hostel. I remember paying my hostel fees always with
fine but on that particular month there was no sign of the usual money order
even after the month was over . I was served a warning by the warden. I was
ashamed, I was angry, I was worried. Had my letter reached home..? Was any one
sick at home? But they know my mess bill had to be paid....... As my thoughts were
running wild my money order arrived at
last.
When I went home for the
vacation the usual happy hug of my
mother was waiting for me but my
reciprocity lacked the warmth. Was I not
put into shame in front of my college mates by their negligence to send the
money on time?
One of my sisters who could not hold
a secret from me whispered to me " You know your mess bill was sent by
selling her precious mangal sutra ornaments."
The enormity of the shame that engulfed me was unparalleled . The
nobility of the person who gave me the smiling hug in spite of her many
problems shines as the load star of my life!!
