The visiting hour in the hospital
was very tight especially in the ICU. And the procedures to enter into that
sanctum sanctorum was equivalent to visiting a hard core prisoner. You remove
your sandals wear the socks provided put
on the face mask and wait in an enclosed space for the precious call from the
nurse....
"Remember your time is just
two minutes.. ok" she orders you and
you nod your head like a sacrificial lamb!
I was thoroughly nonplussed as I entered in.
There in lay a man with tubes hanging from both his hands attached to bottles
of various liquids, rhyles tube going through the nose and many more emanating
from the sides with the helmet like apparatus covering his face.
"Is he the person whose silent
hearty welcome multiplied the joy of entering his house?" I wondered.
His children were waiting outside
determined to save their dad by hook or crook. Or are they playing in the hands
of the cunning hospital whose sweet talk and assurance make you believe that
the best of the best is happening there? Is he used as the guinea pig to the
numerous advanced medical apparatus and instruments the hospital boasts of? The
vulnerability of the near and dear ones is thoroughly manipulated to keep their cash machine ticking. But I know this was not the time to reason out
with them. I docilely nodded my head as they requested my prayers.
The advancement in medical field which promises the
elderly with a brand new life lures, the cash rich over enthusiastic,
affectionate children to go to any extent to put their parents back to normal
and the greedy hospitals take advantage of this attitude. In addition the
advertisements of happy elderly in various postures of before and after
treatment beguiles the elders too into these costly hospital ventures! They are forced to undergo various unwanted
tests and put through umpteen number of machines just to keep the hospital cash
machine ticking. After all today's hospitals operate on a corporate model and
maximising the profit becomes the ultimate goal.
Acceptance of old age with minimal essentials necessary
for a maintenance mode does not suffice the human mind. Greed for greener
postures of youth is eternal that we seek and the seeking never ever gets satisfied!
I still remember as a child when the elderly sick people
in my village were put in the airy back shed of the house where an assistant
took care of the his daily needs and at nights people in the street took turns
to give company entertaining him with tall stories. We children used to
accompany the group till sleep overtook us! The Buddhist concept of death as a
natural part, a smooth and peaceful process was well understood then.
My cousin in the village is 80 plus. One day when he got up from bed he was feeling giddy
and had to hold on to the pillar nearby and was in that position for some time
and as it subsided he took his morning cold water bath and washed his clothes
and got ready fortified by his morning tea, the elixir vitae to warm the
cockles, and he was up on his tractor
like a king! "Give the body time to
balance and it would do the automatic correction." was his simple logic!
He staunchly believes in the saying "Take
medicine you can be cured of cold in a week. Without medicine it may take seven
days!"
His city grown wife who was witness to this show was
the one who worried her head off compelling him to go to the nearby hospital
since she knew he was diabetic!
There is a saying in my village " If you are
having fever just take a dip into the Pappakulam tank and everything goes off
in a jiffy." And believe me even today there are umpteen number who would vouch on the curative power of
those waters!! The Buddhist philosophy that life is a natural smooth and
peaceful process is operative in full swing at my place.
There are many sensible people in the cities too who
never put their parents through the tortuous process of medicating. When their
mother's kidney functions started failing in one of our relative's family her
eleven children gathered together to make the crucial decision of whether to put
her through the painful process of dialysis or leave her to carry on a normal
life with medicines. Opinions were many and varied but at the end they
concurred to leave her alone than to let her go through the agonising procedure.
Along with the children living closely
those living in faraway lands too
made sure that they gave her company spreading
plenty of the positive vibrations around her.
One of my friends,
who was taking care of her mother who is a cancer patient with a heart
condition and high sugar as an accompaniment, shared with me about her mother’s
attitude "She loves her sweets and
we give it to her and she is happy back at home and even asks me to go back to
my house in Chennai and not worry about her".. And giving her chemotherapy
is impossible. "Providing the
comfort zone is the best thing we can
offer to her" she said " I am planning to take my daughter to her place or I may even bring her to Chennai
for a change."
Becoming the custodians of elders' medical and dietary
needs cannot follow researched recommendations beyond a point. Giving an
overall space they prefer to have and
the love emanating from the heart matters a lot in making their life an enjoyable and complete!
When one of my friends
took VRS (voluntary Retirement for Service) from his lucrative
government job I know that a remunerative job was in the anvil in any one of the private concerns since
expertise in his chosen field was a well-known fact.
"Have you applied for a job?" I asked him
over a pep talk.
"Yes madam." he said happily." I am
having the best job in the world. I am taking care of my elderly mother."
A blessed mother indeed!! A visit to his house proved that the frail smiling
lady was never taken to the hospital and spends her time with the family especially
her devoted son amidst various oils and
balms and herbal concoctions!
Let us also be part of this beautiful process and try not to play God!
