The Flex Boards of Tamil Nadu

I had a persisting doubt in my mind.

What is your great doubt that friends like us can’t sort it out for you?

 “Could you tell me the place of origin of this flex culture which had entered into the state of Tamil Nadu on the sly and, like "Vetal of the Vikkramadityan" story, holding it in its iron grip?

My friends looked at me sarcastically at my ignorance! But they did indeed explain to me in detail

 Most of our Tamil Nadu politicians were born out of our Tamil cinema and Tamil cinema had the culture of bill boards and when these politicians became our rulers they carried this powerful advertising tool with them and with technological advancements the bill boards metamorphosed into the cheap and best  flex boards and we the people of Tamil Nadu, the virtuous followers of these heroes and heroines followed them to the core and their accompanying flex culture naturally attached itself to us and  now we don’t know where to stop  and like a mangal sutra for a wedding it has become an inseparable and important element of  all our social get-togethers and  house hold functions and celebrations!!

We often traverse the Chennai-Trichy national highway (NH 45) and whenever a village approached we kept our fingers crossed anticipating the atrocious flex boards   of the day. We were never disappointed.

On that particular day there was indeed a huge flex with a baby faced girl inviting one and all for the celebration of her first menstrual cycle! Her makeup was terrible with rouge on her cheeks, green and pink mascara on the eye lids red lipsticks on her lips…… did they stop with that….? No way..!Like a bharatha natyam dancer she had her moon and sun brooches apart from the rakkodi and forehead chain and her long braid had flower decoration. As if this was not enough thanks to the influence of TV over her eye brows she had another row of white dots like the Bengali bride and sandalwood pottu like the Kerala girls!

There was a necklace and poothali closer to her neck followed by dollar chain, jasmine bud chain followed again by a coin chain. As a last straw she was in a big pattu sari gifted by her maternal uncle

Like a sacrificial goat she posed ……….

 Should we Tamilians not be ashamed of our unwanted publicity…… for an occasion which needed lot of education for the female child?

In those days when there was no four lane highway there used to be boards announcing the degree of danger on a particular part of the road like “Caution! Highly dangerous curve!” In the same manner on the same highway I saw a really frightful flex which I would love to share with you

 “Goat sacrifice for Lord Ayyanar and ear piercing for the children “announced the board.

 On one side of the flex Lord Ayyanar was sitting on a horse with frightening big red eyes and flying hair adorned with crown. While his left hand was holding the reins on the other hand was holding a shiny big sword which he was swishing around with vigour. On the other side of the flex there were three little toddlers with fright writ all over their face! The children’s photo could have been a separate entity but the combined effect was indeed a horror story!

We stayed for some days in the village and a visit to the village invariably entailed a visit to river Kollidam at the village of Thenkatchi. A tractor load of relatives of various hues and kinds were there with an interesting breakfast of idly and kesari after a dip in the flowing river.

As I was floating in the shallow waters I enquired my local cousin how his shop was doing. “These politicians are indeed creating ruckus around the place.” He started his lamentations. “On full moon days and new moon days people used to visit temples but today the culture is topsy turvy. On these days they hold party meetings and conferences all through the night. The other day a man was digging  holes in front of my shop and I told him that there was already a big hole dug by the panchayat aeons ago and still left opened and if he was to dig some more to fix the flex the business for small traders like us would be affected. “I am asked just to dig holes at this place” He shouted at me and throwing his digging implements walked away. After a while there was a burly party man who addressed me thus, “What do you think of yourselves? Don’t you know that our leader had the majority vote from here? And you had the guts to protest against his flex board? We have every right to fix it wherever we wish and we can even close your b..i..g… super market and fix the flex right on that spot” I knew that he was not a local person and had come here to show off his power. Local politicians usually created bonhomie of sorts with the local business community. I didn’t talk to him and taking my vehicle went away from that troubled spot.”

“What happened then?”

“When I went back they had left a small entry gap for my shop while completely hiding the next one!”

“I have an even bigger story that this flex had created in our place.” an uncle who was listening joined in.

“It was a bride’s side wedding and busloads of guests from the boy’s side were filling up the whole area. But all of a sudden people among them were agitated and soon it was turning into war of words. In the middle of this was an old woman whose voice was rising to great decibels by seconds.

She was the paternal grandmother of the boy and getting down from the bus the first thing she witnessed was the flex board wherein both the sides of the family from the grandparents of the bride and groom were welcoming all and sundry for the wedding. That’s a good idea but what was the problem? While the girl’s side female members were wearing jewels neck to neck in the flex the boy’s side members were adorned in measly single chain! The grandmother thought they were indeed humiliated by this unbecoming flex board. She exclaimed “What do they think of my grandson? For his qualifications and earnings people were queuing up in front of my door and these disrespectful people had the audacity to make this poster. At the height of anger she shouted at her son to cancel the wedding and go back home and conduct the wedding at their temple with another girl at the same auspicious time and hold a grand reception at a later date with big flex boards (putting these measly boards to shame) adorning the whole wedding procession route!

But the culprit of this whole proceeding was the bridegroom. When his would be in law asked for family photos for the flex he looked at the photogenic quality of the photos rather than the adorning jewels. Now he had to manage the show.  His grandmother was the eldest in the family and people respected her words. What if she had her way with his marriage? He was in a big dilemma. With the culture of cell phone flourishing the chat and the Skype adding vigour his marriage had blossomed into an ardent love affair from which he would not like to come out.

Instantaneously he place a quick call across to his would be partner explain the situation. She indeed had a plan!!

On the pretext of grandma needing some rest from this heat the grandson led  her into an air-conditioned place  where they would be bride was waiting As the lady entered the room she fell flat on grandmother’s feet with a visible single small chain around her neck and as a further precaution showered the old lady with kisses. The flabbergasted woman was beyond words except wishing her would be granddaughter in law all the best in life and also with a query why she hadn’t adorned herself with her jewels!!

While the psychological endearing was proceeding the  girl’s father  called on the friends who had affectionately placed those 10 calamitous flex boards which had the capacity to stop the wedding itself and told them that they had to manage and make sure that those boards were never in the vicinity of the wedding hall.

“I didn’t know how many workers they employed, how many banana plantations they destroyed “ continued the uncle “But before the bridal procession could start they whole path was adorned with  fresh and greenest banana trees intertwined beautifully with colourful serial lights. So all was well on that day that ended well. “

We joined in his laughter along with hand full of sweet kesari and with the determination never to go near the flex in our family function.