The Minority Tribe

Many of you might have gone through these misadventures or may be worse ones while attending weddings where the organisers prioritise the majority non vegetarians leaving the minority to the custody of nearby vegetarian hotels.

 We were at a wedding.

“Vegetarians please go up” A person was pleasantly requesting the guests. We acknowledged him smilingly and moved up.  If we had been looking for a pleasant hall we would have been disappointed. There were just two tables placed adjacent to the kitchen and we were asked to make ourselves comfortable. The burnt logs pulled out from the stove were creating a smoky ambience around us. There was a power cut and the gen set connection was not extended to this poor vegetarian section.  Sweaty with burning eyes we had our wedding feast of half cooked rice and walked away as quickly as we can!

We were happy to note that at another venue the arrangement for vegetarian was as good as the non-vegetarian section. But by the time we came after wishing the newly married and tete et tete with the known guests the vegetarian food had gone with the wind!!

 It was another wedding venue. Even though the non-vegetarians were in majority beautiful arrangements had been made for vegetarians too with an aesthetic shamiana in place and important hosts wishing everyone and requesting one and all to enjoy the lunch. The items were many and the vegetarian servers who usually prefer to be topless showing off their sweaty upper body were fully clothed! But the moving guests the serving team and the running children had created a dusty layer and the effect was that along with the food we had to enjoy the fine dust too! They forgot to put a carpet over the soil!

We have taken a strong decision with regard to eating vegetarian feast in a mainly non-vegetarian wedding feasts.

We didn’t want to give an excuse of sickness or emergency hospital visits since those do not augur well with the occasion.

The planning goes thus

1. As we wish the newlyweds and shown our gift promptly as ordered by the photo and videographers and registered our presence by posing along we can quietly walk out Suppose we were caught in the middle by a known host

2. “What a wonderful treat… by the way where have you kept the paan? This food needs that for proper digestion.” In case we were caught just off the stage when this gimmick doesn’t work

3. “There is an important event where our presence is a must… explain to you later.” As we utter these words we should be on our run unavailable for a subsequent inquisitive questioning.

As we were discussing these options we never anticipated a problem in an entirely different sort would crop up before us. It was a phone call from our son.

"Dad you remember Sri who was your right hand man during my wedding?” “He is getting married now.  Since he is starting late from US he couldn’t come to our house to invite you. Instead his father would come in person to give the invitation. Even though it is an effort on your part to go so far please attend the wedding. And Appa I don’t want you to send anyone else. Mum and you have to reciprocate that affection.” It was more of a command from the land of Obama than a docile request to the respectful Indian parents!

That marriage was happening in a village in the vicinity of Sivagangai. Taking a wrong turn we lost our way and on that rustic route the back tyre of the car got punctured. Exasperated we arrived at the venue only around noon. We were lucky that the father was there to welcome us amidst the unknown crowd and without taking us in to wish the newly married, which he said could wait, took us straight to the dining area. As  they started serving the food we realised that we were being served non vegetarian food. As we slowly wriggled out, the worried father came running and we did the explaining

“I thought you were all non-vegetarians”

“You are right but just the two of us…..”

Our host was thoroughly disillusioned. His son’s best friend’s parents were not able to part take in this luxurious banquet!!  Not to be undone he took us to the hall and ordered someone to get cool drinks.

We dared not to open our mouth to say ‘no’ to this offer. Poor man……. we didn’t want to hurt him.

Dry and cold rice, watery  sambar  some rasam  smelly  butter milk and soggy over fried appalams was the fare sitting in front of us.

Our host was furious and shouted “Where did you get this useless food? I wanted you to go to Rassapa’s place to get food with vadai and payasam…”  he reprimanded

“ Rassapa had closed shop today to be here for our wedding……”

We made a great effort to relish it!

“Are you always a vegetarian?” asked the grand old man who was the grandfather of the bridegroom in a concerned voice.

“No, no it was just some time back that we decided to opt for vegetarian.”

His admonition was; “Don’t do it please, your body will lose all your energy and vitality. I don’t know how you manage it” he looked down at us with pity!!

He continued “It is big effort for us to eat that miserable vegetarian food on Fridays and New moon days. At least a piece of dry fish is essential to go with it.”

This grand old man was sailing in the same boat as  the Bangladeshis who recently entertained the Indian Prime Minister Modi and came to know that he was a pure vegetarian. They exclaimed “What ……… he doesn’t eat fish?!! He doesn’t touch prawns…!!? “Poor man what else can he eat?!!”

As we parted the wedding festivities and as a compensatory measure for all that we missed, all the delicacies were packed for the rest of the family.

“The food will not get spoilt for two days. The Chettinad cooks are world famous for their careful cooking.”

As we were ready to start the grand old man, with lot of concern in his eyes, peeped through the window of the car and we lowered it. Holding my husband’s hand he said “you are all highly educated people……but please listen to this old villager for once. you might have become a vegetarian for last few years, but your own well being ……  please come back and join our non vegetarian fold!”

His folded hands with rustic concern and love had indeed touched our heart if not the food!