The pill Phobia

The girl was newly married. She was happy to find that the customs in the new house were more or less the same as the one her childhood home. The family was big like hers and the house was similar to her ancestral one except that it was smaller and with just four coconut trees at the backyard. She thought about the big jack fruit tree at her garden. During the season the ‘smelling’ of the abundant jack fruits clinging to the trunks to identify the ripe ones was an ideal hobby for her and the siblings. That the season coincides with the summer holidays added zest to this ‘smelling show’ what with the additions of many cousins. She would miss all the fun in the new place or maybe they will allow her to go home during the summer vacation!!

As days went by she found out that this family carried an eccentricity of its own. It was the ‘Pill phobia’ which engulfed the whole ambiance of this house hold!

As they started their day either to go to school college or work the children made a bee line for their vitamin pills and it  was received with reverence and piety like the holy prasadam. They were indoctrinated on the efficacy of those pills so much that they could recite by heart all their goodness with the speed reciting an easy mathematical table!  It was a wonder for her when her husband had a medicine box in their room and every day morning before he stepped out of the house for work he would have second breakfast which she named ‘the pill food’! With an assortment of pills in colour and size laid on the lid he would savour each one of them. It was as if he was relishing the sweetest pink guava of her Thanjavur garden! Was he healthy person? If so why was he taking so many pills? In one of her rare calls home (when owning phone was a luxury) she murmured to her mum about this habit but mother warned her not to make a fuss about it and dad would sort it out when he visited her.

Adding more zing to her worries was that her father in law also followed the same routine and the father and the son duo discussed among themselves about the veracity of a tablet depending on the input from their ordinary friends, doctor friends and medical representative friends! They would discuss and argue about the composition of a pill and decided which brand met their standard.

One day when they came home from an outing she had a slight cold. “The evening chillness of December.” she thought to herself. “Things would be fine with the intake of plenty of water.”

 But her husband thought otherwise. He was a worried man. Being newly married he gently suggested to her to take a pill which would ward off her cold in no time! The girl was surprised. “Taking a pill for cold? You must be joking. I will be alright tomorrow morning. “She turned to the other side of the bed and slept off. The poor fellow was helpless!

In spite of her water therapy her cold persisted with a slight cough as an accompaniment. Now the whole family woke up to this emergency situation. Her MIL (mother in law) ordered her not do any work and never to touch water and neither take a bath.

She started laughing.” Amma, in our house” she said “the moment anyone gets a cold we would jump into the river at the back of our house and soak ourselves to our heart’s content. If I take a cold water bath I would be fine in a jiffy. Don’t worry.”

 “Muruga……..” she exclaimed in horror “Cold water bath when you are having a cough and cold?” MIL wanted to articulate so many things about her family and their customs but controlled her tongue. But she continued “Please listen to me. This cold and cough if unattended would create a thick layer of phlegm and sit in your lung and in no time you will develop TB. You are an educated girl and know the implications of TB. If you are not convinced with the medicines your husband suggests, go to your father in law. He has immense experience.” All these cajoling had no effect on her and she said that she would get well in a day or two. She knew that three doses of her ammachi’s (grandmother's) ‘Adathoda’ herbal decoction would make her alright. A piece of 'Adimathuram' (liquorice root) kept in the mouth and sucking its sweetened saliva would take care of the cough!

 Whether it was the psyching out starting first with her husband and spreading like a contagious disease to  the MIL and the FIL (father in law) and the younger ones too (who looked down  at her with pity ) that her cold and cough worsened. She was feeling guilty facing anyone; she was the adamant black cat in the family. She thought about it and as a compromise she said she would see a doctor.

The whole household literally rejoiced and suggested that she went to Chari, their family doctor.  “I will sit outside” said her husband “that chap is bit cranky.”

“Are you the new bride?”

“Yes doctor.”

“Mmmmm… congratulations. I was there for your wedding…… nice boy!”

“Now why have you come here? Is there any fever?”

“Doctor I am having a cold and slight cough.”

“Definitely your husband and father in law would have suggested many medicines to you?!”

 She was startled. Finding a kindred soul at an unexpected corner surprised her!

With lot of enthusiasm she agreed with him and told him about her house hold remedy for cold. A head bath in the river at the back of their house was the cure all solution for cold. Her side of the family indeed treated cold and cough with the needed contempt.

“Hey … that’s great…….. It was the same in Calcutta where I practised for some time. The moment a patient entered the hospital with cold or fever he would be taken straight away to the bath room and two buckets of cold water would be poured right from his head on. See this Thanjavur remedy had travelled a long… long…. Distance…..ha… ha…ha!!”

  He continued “Now listen to me carefully. Go home and make a decoction of dry ginger and pepper and drink thrice everyday with palm sugar. In the meantime I will give you some powdered pills to convince your family or they would be researching the tablets I had given….They are just placebos. Those educated jokers! They don’t know that with all their medications and vitamin pills they are filling their toilet with rich urine!

“Who can change a mind-set?” he sighed

 That conniving man indeed made her happy and whenever she wanted to escape from the family medication possibilities her asylum was ready and waiting with a laughing session as bonus! She would share with him the medical weirdness of the family. Whenever her professor husband went for paper correction he would swallow extra dose of Becosules (vitamin B12 capsule) to vitalise him! The father in law would gulp an extra spoonful of rejuvenating pasty herbal concoction much before his chess tournament in the club.

 “Need to fill the think tank to the brim!!”

All these had indeed become history now. The girl had her own grandchildren. But the husband’s phobia continued but at a different plane. With his heart problem  blood pressure and sugar, his recourse was to maintain a perfect routine with the prescribed medicines. Monitoring his wife’s recommended daily dosage of calcium pills was part of his every day routine. And the wife’s reluctance for anything to do with medicine continued unabated.

It so happened one day that in spite of umpteen numbers of reminders she forgot to take her calcium pill and last reminder from the husband was literally a threat. Irritated she hastily opened the box and popped in the pill and told him that her job was over. His night reminder too was adhered to.

 In the course of a conversation after the night meal she mentioned that she had swallowed two of his pressure pills instead of her calcium ones. That man couldn’t believe his ears! A normal person taking two blood pressure pills? It was indeed an emergency situation! A call to come home immediately to the daughter living close by was given after a brief explanation. She also got panicky and called her doctor friend to describe the situation. But her dad was not happy with all those introductory endearments with her friend. He pulled the phone from her and started giving details. “Doctor she had taken two pills……….. Two blood pressure pills and this is the power and this is its brand name” so saying he called his daughter “Please bring my spectacles, I want to read out to her the composition of the pill; the letters are small.”

 In all these commotion the culprit was sitting calmly! The doctor said “Uncle please don’t worry. I will take care of things. Please can you give the phone to Aunty?”

“How are you my dear girl?” the lady asked.

“I have to ask that question to you Aunty! How are you feeling?”

 “I am fine.”

Then the doctor said “Aunty, in case you feel weak mix some salt and sugar in a glass of water and drink it. But you should promise me to have a separate box for your tablets and never ever to take a mistaken pill.  I will tell uncle to send you to the clinic tomorrow morning for his satisfaction and please come early when there is not much crowd. We will have a nice chat. Is it fine with you?”

“Yes my dear.”

At this juncture that lady remembered dear Chari too and told herself

“Thank God, all through my married life the doctors are my only sane cahoots (partners)!