Making Idlis -The English Way

(Idli is a steamed soft dumpling made from rice and lentils)

From the moment I started living in Chennai my story regarding the servants had been an unbelievably utopian one. I had been used to a particular type of service where my kitchen was spic and span and the  food was at my beck and call… for eons…..!

After this exquisite service for years….. I am hapless today and servant less. The vessels in the sink stared at me like minions and giants of various sizes, threaten me to the core and the usual smooth self of mine had metamorphosed into an instantaneous  trigger  ready to shoot(sorry shout)  at anyone with a slightest comment or suggestion! However much I tried to reduce the vessel count, it seemed to multiply like the miracle of 5 loaves!!

A proper dish washer is yet to be invented to hold the idli maker, the grinder and their accessories and assorted kadais and what not. Now it was my daughter who listened to my woes and advised me.

“Why don’t you avoid idli all together? She said “Do you remember granddad’s friend from abroad who composed a poem on the “white demons” sitting at the dining table glaring and frightening him with their steamy eyes? He sang it to us on the last day he left! “She laughed

She is a staunch idli hater…..like that foreigner….. 

Then and now…….!

But she doesn’t know that a vessel full of idli dough in the fridge makes a Tamilian lady psychologically happy and contended. Any exigencies could be managed by its presence…! The idli dough has multiple uses. It is capable of transforming itself into idli or dosai of various varieties (kal dosai, paper dosai. masala dosai) or delicious uthapams according to our whims and fancies!

 I sighed at her ignorance

Will this burger girl ever appreciate this essential role of idli dough?!

The absence of this vital food ingredient in the house would be as if a baby had been snatched off its milk…!

 I held a powerful defence weapon for her question!!

“Listen my dear girl…” I said “The WHO (World Health Organization) hath indeed declared idlis as the most nutritious and healthiest number one super food in the world.”

When we Tamilians want to defend ourselves we make sure that we go into superlatives…..!!!!

“Hmm….. There might be equally good if not better but less laborious and less time consuming foods around.” She continued

“Ok….. If you want to stick on with your sticky idlis why don’t you buy the readymade dough..? Saves lot of labour and reduces the number of vessels…… you can stack the polythene covers full of dough into the fridge and have your heart's full…..!

I was  burning…….. And wanted to give a full vent to my feelings. I continued

“Idli dough..? In a plastic cover…? You know how I avoid plastic bag usage in our house….. How can you ever think of me using so many plastic bags? They might be biodegradable but in India we throw all the muck in a single lot……And pushing out the dough like a tooth paste….? It is not the ideal way the idli dough should be treated….. A light stir with a ladle  to the fermented dough and a gentle pour  into the moist and slightly oiled idli plates brings forth the smoothest of smooth variety of idlis….a thing of beauty indeed……!!

And tell me who vouches for the quality control of the dough? What if the dough is mixed with cooking soda….or boric powder to keep it fresh? What if the whole process of preparing the dough is not hygienic? You know there was an article in the newspaper that the analysis of the idli dough in the food lab in Chennai revealed the presence of faeces particles. “

The conversation ended with this unpleasant note and the Skype was silent for some time

Weeks went by ……  But one day there was the call

“Amma forget what I told you about your idlis the other day….”

“Forgiven and forgotten. “I said.

“Now I want a help from you regarding idlis… can you send the recipe?”

I was aghast! What happened to my girl?!

What a great conversion!! I rejoiced….. !! I started planning!!  An aluminium idli maker is better than a stainless steel one. I can easily send it through post parcel which is cheap and safe…..

I didn’t realise that I was building castles in the air

“ Amma a friend of mine who visits Chennai during Margazhi music season met a man who introduced him to the Mylapore Karpagambal Mess and it's idlis. A bit of the idli soaked in sambar made him a born again man and he rushed to the close by Indra Metal Store and packed an idli maker and a grinder as his first precious purchase! Now he wants a recipe for making idlis. Though we get a lot of these in the net, he would like to have it from the horse’s mouth. Ha… ha…! So amma, can you mail your method to his email id please?

I was totally disappointed…

“Ok ……send his id” I curtly replied

“ You sound bored amma….. Are you alright…?”

“ I am fine… I will send it.”

My girl was in a asthmatic fits and  laughing a lot when we skyped again a few days later.

“ Amma what did you mail to my friend…?”

“ It is my preparation…”

“The other day Steve came to my house and as we were talking and the subject turned towards our idlis. With his British under statement  he said “ Anne I followed the recipe your mother had mailed me. But the idlis turned out to be gooey and stuck to the idli plates and you know Anne …..the whole house was stinking….. Had to open all the windows and doors to get rid of the smell….. Does the Karpagambaal mess’s kitchen stink too?” He was pathetic

“What did that man do?”  I asked

“Yes amma…… even I was worried. So I told him ”Steve can we go step by step please?”

“ I soaked the urud dhal and the fenugreek seeds.”

“Right……”

“ Then I boiled the rice….”

“What… !! Did you ……. Did you boil the rice......?!!!!!!! But why?”

“ Your mother’s instruction.”

“And we rushed to your mail amma.” Holding her stomach she  started laughing again. ” Steve had indeed followed your instruction to the letter……..”

“Amma…. you had mentioned boiled rice which in India denotes par boiled rice. We make a difference between boiled rice and cooked rice.  But the English mind didn’t understand this little nuance and hence the confusion…….!! So next time when you send a mail on this subject to anyone, even to your North Indian friends make sure that your idli rice is always a par boiled one… and never ever boiled rice !”

 My idli  had indeed become a laughing stock of the day.

“ Did you buy him your par boiled rice?”

“ No…instead we together decided that Steve could have his quota of idlis at the Karpagambal mess during the Margazhi music season in India and we  consigned the idli vessel and it’s accessories to his attic..!

I didn't like the skype laughter at all.