Biometric Verification Phobia

Of late travelling to UK was not  a big strain for both of us. During those strenuous  working days we used to take a nonstop flight on British Airways to reach the destination as fast as possible. And it was always from Chennai to Heathrow like a point to point Tamil Nadu buses. Now we break our journey at Dubai  comparing notes with national geographic channel's visual description of this  techie airport  and  window shop for two hours, buy an almond stuffed date packet and take another flight to Heathrow.  Everything seems wonderful till then. But as we reach the immigration point at Heathrow I go jittery. At the  checking counter the passport scan takes a second , their verbal enquiry for the purpose of visit takes another and after this the high drama starts for me. 

Yes you guessed it right ... it is the biometric system which needs my thumb print in all its perfection! There is nothing wrong with this requirement except that my biological system refuses to partake in the game

"Can you put your thumbs on the reader please?" I am asked courteously. In all smiles I oblige and press but the result was naught.

"Harder please...." The British politeness. Still  my imprint refuses to register.

"Show your thumbs please" I  happily respond thinking that he is going into a different mode.

The man applied some gummy liquid unto the thumbs.  " Now the fellow will not play truant.... ha.. ha " he laughed and asks me to press my thumb. I was disheartened

Even after energetic exercising on my part and cajoling from the better half the result was zilch.

 All other counters were moving in great regularity except the one monopolized by me, the royal Indian! Like the spider which tried to build its nest 18 times  and taught a life lesson to King Bruce, I was trying to prove my resolve to the man in the counter.

After several patient trials  and a frail imprint on the computer the man shook his head.  He should have thought like King Bruce, who learnt a lesson from the spider, and took risk with resolve to clear immigration. He again looked at my bunch of passports stapled together and the many visas, short term and long term, to allow valid entry to  England.  

With resignation written large on his face, he said "Please go ...... have a nice stay and enjoy the weather"

I should have convinced him about my good conduct during my sincere effort and compliance that I might never go into the terrorist category !

Anyway this has become my regular routine of entry into UK for of my annual vacation.

But never in my life  had I imagined that I would undergo a similar ordeal in my free India! This is also an equally interesting one!

For several years  we had been evading obtaining the Aadhar card, our national individual identity.

The idea that you are being numbered like in prisoner  or in many of the broiler schools (where you are known by your number alone) was distasteful to us . But many of our friends frightened us  with dire consequences to us,  the Aadhaar less people.

"Do you want a birth certificate? A death certificate? Caste certificate? Register a property?

Register a marriage under Hindu Marriage Act? Or Special marriage Act? Want a solvency certificate?

Apart from all these in future if you want  to pay bills or apply for a driving license Aadhaar is a must"

Another one added fire to the flame  " Do you know in the State of Delhi 90% of the citizens own Aadhaar cards?"

This psychological warfare  didn't bother us  much.....Only 30 crore people of India possess the Aadhaar card .The remaining 129 crore  of  the population   happily goes about without this piece of plastic. We are in the majority! Ha ha......

But when one of friends informed us that this Aadhar card registration is happening closer to our house, we decided to  do away with this procrastination and relieve our friends from their anguish!

Since the requirement was that  the forms were to be filled in Tamil we did that in right earnest  and where we had some doubts we decided to clarify it on the spot.

We waited in a reasonable queue and as we entered the sanctum sanctorum and submitted our applications. At one corner there was a growing mound of these application and ours were duly consigned to the place it belonged! The professional gang took our photos  and then the biometric retina scan and then........... there was the biometric registration. I thought this local one will prove to be  easy. But it was not to be. "Press the thumbs nicely madam" he said. When I failed to respond, he said "Now I will put my hands over your thumbs; It may pain a little... hope you don't mind"

"Yes please...... go on....., I don't mind at all."

With all my experience I understood things in the right perspective. In spite of the exerted pressure my thumbs were adamant.  The impression in the computer was still feeble.

The man scratched his head and said " Can you put your thumbs on your head and rub some oil into it?

But I don't have any oil in my shampooed hair.

Again he scratched..... He looked around

"Akka (sister) can you do a little help? Can you allow madam to rub her thumbs on your hair please?

He addressed the lady waiting for the retina scan.

I look up at her. In the beautiful rustic fashion she had applied coconut oil and plaited the hair properly (unlike city folks)

"Why should I ?"she was vehement

"It is just to help akka. Since madam had taken a head bath there is no oil in her hair. For the proper impression of the thumb a little bit of oil helps. But don't bother if you cannot."

She smiled and bowed her head to me.

With a 'thank you' I rubbed my thumbs unto her hair.

With this ingenious  replenishment and an aided crushing hand pressure from the official, I successfully  accomplished my biometric scan!

But how are you going to manage in future....... 

I will be the king Bruce's spider....... try... try.... and try again