Modern Columbus in Search for Spices

We were indeed surprised to see our friends! They were on a six month's tour of USA, where their bachelor son was working in a software company, but within a month they were at our door steps

What happened? Was it some emergency medical problem…..? Was it the cold climate…? We were anxious.

“Don't worry. In America your friend simply refused to move out of our son’s house......” my friend’s husband said.

Contrary to his statement my friend belonged to a distinctive genre. Like a genie she would present herself at my house for any outing request ere my cell phone lost its heat!  Both of us had travelled in the Bharath Dharshan special train covering North India. Last year it was to Kolkata to my friend's house during Durga Pooja where we visited umpteen number of Pooja pandals getting blessed copiously tasting varieties of chats on the streets of Kolkata uncaring for the tender stomach lining!  And it was when we were planning for an artistic experience to Shantiniketan that their son sent a ticket to the USA and they were off for a six month sojourn.

"It is a big story indeed...." my friend's husband started.

"Our son was extremely happy to see us after a long break.  He wanted show us the wonders of his adopted country especially his mother and as an inaugural treat told his mother “Ma, today we are going out for dinner to a renowned restaurant  and guess what ?! It is your favourite item.... fish and more fish! You are in for a surprise!" he said. In my wife’s imagination the authentic Karaikudi's and Amaravathi's type of restaurants should have been doing a Russian ballet.

"Will you please stop ......" my friend told her husband, the narrator "I will continue the story from here lest you provide a very distorted version of the whole happening."

She continued the episode, "As we entered the expensive looking restaurant I witnessed plenty of fish tanks and appreciated the great ambience this  fish  restaurant had created! We took our seats ably assisted by the attendant who handed us the menu card which said

"PICK THE FISH OF YOUR CHOICE FROM OUR TANKS"

"Mum and dad please come and choose the fish you like."

Our son lead us towards the tanks. I was under the impression that the fish in the tanks were similar to the fancy ones some homes have and this high end fish restaurant indeed deserved such a decor. But now I didn't like the idea of choosing. Innocently ordering something off the menu was one thing but being asked to exercise an executive decision over which creature should die tonight in the interest of my palate was entirely different and definitely not up my alley!

 I called my son aside and told him to pick any fish he knew well and I wanted it to be fried.  You know in our (Indian ) culinary custom the process of cooking  fish consisted of  a long one of cleaning the slices, removing the scales properly, rubbing it with salt and turmeric powder and washing it again  and then adding adequate masalas and allowing it to soak till the masala atoms  engulfed the tiniest  atoms of fish and cooked in slow fire. So I guessed from the time of catching your chosen fish with a little scooping net and taken to the kitchen for preliminary procedures and then to the frying pan would take at least an hour. But it was not to be. Before I could say 'jiffy' the server brought before me a big plate of assorted vegetables, leaves  and boiled potato on which a whole fish sat glaring at me with its big eyes like a haughty king in a royal procession! I shuddered! One sliver of that fish unto my mouth was enough to remind me of my early months of pregnancy and taking my son’s hand for guidance I ran to the rest room where my innards were somersaulting towards my mouth!

"And then it was the turn of the lamb chops experiment  which my son said could equal in taste of  her own gastronomic  specialty." The husband continued. "But in the plate was a huge chops which my wife said was beef, nothing but beef! "

"Ma in this place this sort of cheating is impossible. They would seal the restaurant  for ever if they were bluffing." my son said "You know America is a real fertile country. Look at the people here. We look like Lilliputians in their midst. So too are their animals. I can very well vouch that it is a lamb and not a cow." Nervously I poked the stuff but again it was a marathon race to the rest room.

"I didn't vomit." I declared triumphantly "But it stinks."

"Would you try some salad?"

"Only goats eat leaves."

"Some vegetables?"

"Am I a patient to eat boiled vegetables!?"

"So this vicious circle of varied American food brought on to the point of starvation except when we were lucky enough to locate an Indian restaurant....." her husband went on. Our son had taken a long leave to take his spirited mum around the country. But in mid-American plains, spending the nights in the motels, where do we locate her choice eateries? Like her daily morning prayer her first request to her son turned out to be finding an Indian place for at least one meal!

 I wondered if Columbus had such a fervent intention when he was on his search voyage to find out India as my wife! His search for India landed him in the Americas . But my wife landing herself in America was trying to find out the taste of Indian spices in this far away land!!" Her paradise turned out to be the vegetarian Saravana Bhavans and their ilk." He laughed

"You are very right "I intervened" The intention of both Columbus and my friend carries a great similarity where ever their search was. Columbus wanted to find the sea route to India for its valuable spices and so too is my friend....!!"

 "It is very true." said the husband  At the end it was bread and a bottle of hottest Indian mango pickle which came in handy. But with this diet her stomach went for a sixer and she had to rely on ice creams, biscuits and their fellow beings. But after a while she refused to take them too "My mouth feel sour and funny ." she declared.

One look at her could tell me a big story, her healthy glow was gone and her enthusiasm to see places dwindled. I called my son and told him "Don't worry about the extra expense of cancelling the ticket and buying a new return ticket. Your mother's health is important." The boy was sad but there was no other option. He was holding her hand till we reached the check in point at the airport. "My dear boy" the  thoroughly upset lady said "Even in India there are many software companies offering big salary. Why should you suffer this horrible food in this God forsaken place? Come back home."

On hearing this pleading request, his glum demeanour changed and he started laughing." Ma I am working in a company where you can talk in  Tamil and joke in Tamil.  And if an American comes into our office  our standard joke is .."Hey some foreigner is coming . Go find out what he wants!!". We have Deepavali and Pongal holidays and restricted holidays for Avani Avittam for changing the sacred thread is also thrown in as a bonus! And you know ma, every day there is some Indian food on the lunch table and we bachelors get preference over the rest and most weekends and on festival days  we get together at one of our friends' house to enjoy Indian food and goodwill!”

His mother thought for a while and this time she happily called her husband " Next time he comes home his marriage is a done thing. ”She boarded the flight, a contended woman!"

"If you come across some a good girl please inform us" the husband said.

"Of course we will look for a well-educated girl from a good family." I replied

 "But the girl has to fulfill extras criterion too..." He laughed......" You very well know your friend is a post graduate!!" he said sarcastically and handing me a bag full of Hershey they took leave feeling great and contended in our own Indian soil!!