The Domestic Front and the Great Wars

Managing even a well-oiled  organisation can prove to be a  big challenge for a HR department in this modern world. The old time sincerity  and lifelong commitment in which the Japanese excel themselves has become an exception to the rules. The rate at which attrition happens involves a mind boggling exercise of the HR people. They burn the midnight oil over Abraham Maslow's "A theory of human motivation", try to explore the physiological,  safety,  belonging, self-esteem angles in incentivising the good employees and at times secretly spying on the enemy territory over comparative comfort levels and expectations to make efficient people to stick on to the organisation. Head hunting is no more an immoral act and is encouraged with reference bonus!

You may wonder if this is the case what might happen in the  unorganised sector known as the 'domestic front' especially the elders who needed medical as well as physical assistance at home?!

 Like in Francis Thompson's  "The Hound of Heaven" "If the pulp so bitter how shall I taste the rind?"

Our Agent ("007") is an expert in this respect and at the  drop of the hat he could oblige with a new nursing  assistants, new nurses for my husband's parents. Attritions never bothered him.

But there is a hitch! In spite of this instant response the quality of his work force was dubious. His insertion of unqualified  nursing assistants in between gained notoriety! In case of a  complaint  about the rudeness and haphazard and shoddy work, he would go down on his knees  to get away with it  and enchant us in his endearing voice that he would be sending the best of the best for the next shift.

The added incentive in our house is the meals provided to them according to their shift and it was  wish of my father-in-law (FIL) whose generous village back ground continued to flourish in this metro too. And our 'agent' used this too as a  ploy to entice people!

The vivid experience from these varied human resources enhanced my understanding  of the diverse spectrum of life. And today I would like to share with you some of those.

The prediction that the third world war would be fought over water was proving itself true in our home front. What with the assortment of assistants, the return from the office compulsorily gave me unwanted privilege of a  judgment seat where each of the accused wanted the judge to defend them.

The show would start in this manner. I arrive at home around 6.30. in the evening.

"Madam are you tired.....?"

I was thorough with this prelude which was calm before a brooding storm.

"I am fine ... are you all ok....?" I start off  generically and of course, very  pleasantly

Madam I want to tell you something.......  I told that lady pointing out to the room (the nursing assistant in charge of my mother-in-law (MIL) and she didn't even want to utter her name) to wash her plate after meal.....  Is it wrong...?" our cook said.

" No... no... no... not at all... everyone has to wash their own plate clean for general hygiene......." I made a Wooster like generous and unoffending  statement!

"And just because I told her to wash it clean she insulted me  by having the tap water running over her single plate for 10 minutes. And that too when big Ayya ( The elder master of the house , my father-in-law) was telling me  to use the even the wash water in the garden."

If only this complaint had reached  my FIL's ears (big Ayya) hell  would  have broken loose... We were buying water then. FIL was very sure that half a bucket of  water  was more than sufficient  for a bath. 'Have a half  a bucket bath and save water' was his motto.  He didn't have any qualms on giving a catechism lesson over water preservation to the occasional house guests irrespective of their nationality. While  the locals were morose and at times angry on being told  off, the foreigners admired  the man and his lecture." "Oh you mean " Bucket Bath...."? or " Half A Bucket Bath?"  I will try this too...... I did the other one in Calcutta when I worked with Mother Theresa."

I come back to the cook's  grievance and try to pacify her. "Don't worry..... as of now she is helping the MIL in the toilet ...... I will call and talk to her"

She was disappointed... The anticipation of a  good  dressing-down from me, which would have been a soothing balm to her hurt ego was not coming forth from me.

Then it was the turn of the house cleaner.

 "Madam, the nurses should not take bath in our house and they think they are bathing in the river. When Big Ayya is sleeping they do this atrocity. And I am the one to get the scolding from him for wasting water  They have to use the outside toilet  meant for  servants. Like royalty they comb their hair and throw everything  inside the flush and look .....the flush is over flowing  now. The wash basin is filled with their spit and God knows whose paste they are using. You may think I am  bluffing but  I can take you there to show  their handiwork... and I am not a scavenger to clean every one's s..t. I am doing it out of respect and reverence for the elders and if you don't admonish them and ask them to do the right thing  you can look for someone else to do the job."

I am in a dilemma. Should I first tell off the nurses or call up our handyman to look into the toilet and bring it back to normalcy or pacify the cleaning lady and make sure of her daily presence ?!

One morning, one of the nursing assistant was crying copiously. She had taken off her golden ear stud with the dangle  for the night and kept it near the window and it was missing now. I didn't know what to do. Amidst the sobbing she said that she saw a black figure run across the back.

"Why didn't you shout then?" I asked

"I would wake up the patient..."

The black figure she was very particular was none than our watch man. She was bent upon  creating more problem and confusion in the house front.

How could I doubt  him  who was with us for more than a decade?

FIL was insistent that I buy her a new set. I couldn't say no. But I also didn't want  to undergo the trauma of taking her to the shop. I gave the more or less an equivalent amount.

From then on  I became shrewd enough to warn the nursing lot that any of their missing objects were at their own risk and the house cannot be held responsible for any loss.

And then there was a nurse,  quiet and docile smiling variety and very responsible too. One day as she jiggled the thermometer after taking the temperature it fell down and the mercury globules in turn went after her gold chain and lo behold  turned it white.

"Poor child..... " I thought " She deserves more consideration than the theft incident"

But  that was the end of her visit to 'Ratnas.'

The other day I had hit myself on the shelf door and the forehead had ballooned up and was looking for ice in the fridge. It was missing.

The cook and the cleaner had left for the day.

"I think I have forgotten to keep the ice." I said loudly  to myself

" Madam......"  a new nursing assistant  came running  "I am  fasting for the day and I took the ice to mix with my cool drink... I am sorry I took it without your permission..

Two tryas of ice..... for a cool drink?

"Sorry madam..... the iced drink keeps my hunger away..... My fasting started at 12 this afternoon and ends at noon tomorrow after the Sunday service is over.."

"Don't worry .....I will scrape the fridge upstairs.. But take care of your health.. The Lord might not like you over doing things...."   Holding my head  I walked in search of my oasis.

The night was a sleepless one for me. If the throbbing pain made me restless the heavy coughing from down made me wonder if it was my FIL  or MIL who was  sick and anyway made a mental note that a call to the doctor tomorrow morning was imminent.

When I went down in the morning the nursing assistant was in full regalia of a pure white sari and a long sleeved blouse. She had taken bath in the cold water and as an accompaniment  to the whole show she was coughing away to glory!

"I have finished my morning duties for madam.." she said in between her coughs " Waiting for the next shift person..."

"My God.........she should have right royally infected my MIL  the whole night......."

As I was orchestrating my thoughts on the mode of  admonishment to my 'Agent 007', my cook entered into the house and was shocked to see the nursing assistant. But without any comment she entered the kitchen and minded her own routine.

 In the meantime  the shift  changed and the Spartan  coughing figure had  left for the day.

The moment she left the place the cook called me aside. "Madam, why did you employ this lady....?"

"Mmmm ....it was the agent who sent her...." I said

"To hell with that man...... he should be a devil incarnate to send such people to mind the elders.... You know....... months back she was with the Amman temple  in yellow sari  with plenty of turmeric and kum kum (red powder) all over her, soothsaying to the people, swallowing burning camphor..... she should not be allowed inside the house."

Here is the lady who takes religions to their extremity , an out of bound God-botherer who swung between the burning camphor and the coldest cool drink and in the process infected a human in God's image.

My HR tenure and the related problems at the office  faded into insignificance compared to those I faced in my family front  and my learning curve was indeed heavily loaded dealing with this great complexity!