Et tu, Brute – You too Brutus

If you go through the matrimonial columns in the newspapers as well on the internet the bride grooms invariably seek for fair tall and beautiful brides of equal status. The yearning for a  fair skin is a sub conscious itch solidly residing  in Indian mind set. This addiction to  ladies' fairness  had been in existence from time immemorial in our country.

 If a  girl in the family is fairer than the other sibling the comparative  analysis is an unending  process by relatives and even by the parents. And the jealousy among the cousins based on skin colour sometimes turns into a horrible  family feud.

This had happened in one of our friend's place in the late sixties. The bride viewing  was to happen in that house that day and the bride's parents were worried.

"Their elder daughters in law of the house are fair but our girl is dark." the mother of the girl lamented.

The girl was beautiful in her own way and had done a degree which was mandatory qualification for a bride prevailing at that period among the middle class families.

 One of the aunt who usually acted as a beautician for all the weddings in the family circles consoled the mother and told her not  to worry  about the  girl and that it was her responsibility  to make sure that our girl went to that house  as a happy bride.

The  groom's family arrived on time for the customary evening tiffin and coffee  and it was the bride who served the coffee after wishing every one and have  a sly look at the groom!

The bride being displayed, the question whether the groom liked the girl would be shot at the boy. But this day it was not happening. The elders of the boy's family were talking among themselves which never augured well.

The bride's side  waited with bated breath for a 'yes' from the  guests. After a long murmured discussion the boy's mother stood up and asked the girl's mother if she could have a word with her. She called the  mother and girl  aside into a room and  making sure that the door was locked told them  that they came for the girl after knowing about  their family but the problem was that the girl seemed to be having some skin condition and that she was very sorry to refuse  her. Instead of getting angry  at such a reproach on her daughter the mother of the girl fell on  the groom’s mother feet and started crying. 

" Please..... don' do it ....... get up please. " the boy's mother was embarrassed . 

"Amma I told you never to do such things. See where it has landed you now." Lifting her mother the girl started explaining  the whole story.

 "Auntie (to the groom’s mother) they wanted me to look as fair as your other daughters in law and would you believe that  a tin full of Ponds powder was not only applied on my face but on all other visible parts of the body and both my hands became the first victims" she laughed " Sorry auntie for this gimmick  and you can look for a fair bride . Forget about this  fancy show and we will not mistake you."

" But we didn't want a fair brides. We wanted a child from a good family to come into our house and if my other daughters in law are fair it happened  so"

" In that case  you please wait." The girl ran inside the toilet and had a thorough wash of the whitish powder and  with a bindi on her forehead she came out. Instantaneously her would be mother in law smiled and hugged her. Out from the room she majestically asked " When can we fix the marriage?" to the bewilderment of the gathering!!.

If this  was one part of the fairness story I would like to share with you another one. The marriage for another of my friend's daughter had been fixed and days before the marriage the girl was tempted and fell for an advertisement where  after a phase of four shades,  a black skinned  girl on the TV  metamorphosed into a fair looking one. The desire to be the fair caught hold of her fancy and that very night she having purchased the advertised costly beauty cream, and applied it generously on her face. The family got the fright of their life when they saw her swelled up face in the morning! She was rushed to a hospital and it took almost a fortnight to get back her normal decent face  and luckily it had  regained its original condition just before the wedding!

" You were looking good on the engagement day...... has something gone wrong in the interval?" was the husband's first question on their busy wedding day. In the process of making the bride fair and lovely the beautician had turned her into a red faced simian! The rouge on the cheek ........Is it ever needed for an Indian girl?!

A funny thing  happened roughly a decade ago. We were waiting in the church along with the priest and the wedding was behind schedule.  Usually it was the bride who was the root cause of delays for the whole show but to the amusement of the gathering the news was that the bridegroom was delayed in the beauty parlour! Whatever  had happened to the genre of bride grooms! we wondered.  Those were the days when they didn't bother much about their appearance and after an intensive card session with friends through the night they lazily got up for a bath and lo behold  got ready in a jiffy  for the great day!

But we didn't realise that it was the beginning of big  IT money  and the commercialisation hath indeed  extended its tentacles to  ensnare that  gullible innocent male ego! And our men too love to be fair and lovely!  

Et tu Brute?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S. An information that you can share and enjoy in this regard with our friends. Genetically Dravidian  complexion was never fair. You may wonder that why some of them are fair. The kings of Tamil Nadu are the culprits. When they invaded North India and won the wars the higher officials like treasurer used to marry the petty princess and hence the mixed race. If we are not fair we are the originals!

This info was shared by late Dr. B.W.X. Ponnaiya a horticultural scientist par excellence who also had great passion in knowing about the caste and tribes of South India  and on his passing at the ripe old age of 90, he bequeathed his seven volumes "Castes and Tribes of South India" by Edgar Thurston. Now it sits my husband’s library.