Cultures differ. Languages differ. A chalice of great
golden wine could mean a cup of poison in another. This happened to us the
South Indians, the crazy fans of cricket, during the world cup matches. It is the ‘in-between” advertisements eager
to attract the audience which to us is the centre of this controversy. The advertisement is like this. As a famous
Bollywood cine actor holding a cricket bat comes forward to play there appears a storm of dusty orange strands
and the actor tells us in Tamil "If there is saffron in the tongue and
enthusiasm in the heart team India is
sure to win." at the end he again stresses the focal point of
advertisement "saffron in the tongue". I
still cannot fathom how "saffron in the tongue" can enable a
cricketer to perform better.
In the Tamil version of the advertisement he pronounces
it as 'Kumkum on the tongue.'
As regards the second part of the ad we fully agree and
can boldly say that there is no dearth of enthusiasm among our players as well
as we the cricket fans! In our own circle my 81-year-old sister along with her
teenage grandchildren watches the matches fervently burning the midnight oil!! And
to crown it all we witness a 87 year old Indian lady watching the match in
Manchester stadium blowing a trumpet whenever there was even a minor
achievement in the batting of our players! Her excited smile became contagious
that the crowd erupts into a big applause!
The problem with us south Indians is in the phrase
" Kumkum in the tongue "!
The word for saffron in our language is Kumkum, a
reddish powder usually found on the forehead of our ladies as a beauty mark. In
our historical movies, we have watched the queen applying Kumkum as a mark of
auspiciousness on the forehead of her beloved king going for a battle along
with the brave words for all success.
But 'Kumkum in the tongue' is an unheard-of factor. In our part of the
world Kumkum is never an edible one. When the longer use of Kumkum is capable
of messing up the forehead skin you can imagine the devastation it might cause
to the 'tongue' and down to the internal organs!
While most of the south Indian people might not have
seen the stuff saffron at all, todays culinary TV programmes of the south add
up this stuff in the cooking as if it's an ingredient used by us from time
immemorial! "Put some strands of saffron in water and add it when the
payasam is done." they say!! But
for generations our payasam had nothing to do with this alien stuff while one
or two crushed cardamom is enough to make it a delicacy!!
At this juncture I would like to share with you a
grandma's tale persisting in the minds of Indian people with regards to this
stuff saffron. The belief is that any pregnant lady (even a Dravidian one at
that) who consumes few strands of saffron along with milk everyday during this
period is bound to get a fair skinned child, defeating the very basics of
genetic science! The fairness plays such a maniacal role that people have
become bonded slaves to this 'saffron' craziness as long as the child begotten
is bound to be fair!!
Some advertisements literally frighten us! Luscious
mouthwatering yellow mangoes are shown on the screen and as a sequel those
mangoes transform as juice in a bottle.
This juice is held by a young lady with great enthusiasm. We fall in love with that elixir vitae
tempting us to salivate! As the dancing girl with the bottle jumps unto a bean
bag to enjoy her golden liquid in comfort, white thermocole pellets spring
forth from the bean bag filling the whole space with showering snow effect.
Your horror show begins when the girl starts drinking the mango juice amidst
those pellets and at any moment the danger of her swallowing few of those and
getting chocked is imminent. And you feel like shouting for an emergency
ambulance!! The whole idea of promoting the ad is lost and instead it persuades
you to change channel!
In the similar way there are many such advertisements
capable of irritating you.
During the year end, it is customary for the banks to
give away diaries and calendars to the customers and for the special customers
they visit their house for a ‘tete e tete’ with an ulterior motive ofcourse!
Being a long-term customer, we too enjoy this privileged visit!
I opened the roll of calendar after they left and found
that there were two of them.
The calendar was indeed a beauty! Twelve glossy sheets
with equally beautiful sceneries will be thing of joy once it is hung on the
wall. I presented one of them to my flower man, a person with an artistic
inclination in all he does!
The next day as he stopped to give me the usual
flowers, he was scratching his head stood sheepishly. I wondered what was
aching him. "Ma" he said "I want to tell you something but you
should not get upset." As I encouraged him to spill out the beans, he said
"Amma the calendar you gave me yesterday was beautiful and decorative as
my own daughter in law but both are useless. It does not indicate the important
astronomical events such as new moon and full moon eclipse days etc. Leave that
amma. We are oldies looking for unwanted things. But my grandson who pulled
from my hand the first calendar to the house to find out whether the festival
days, like Diwali and Pongal are coinciding with the week end to enjoy longer
holidays. He came back running to me telling "Thatha you keep your calendar
to yourself. There is nothing in there."
Usually I open the calendar only on the New Year’s Day
early morn when the whole city starts the celebrations with welcoming cracker
sounds. But this day I went through the
stuff hurriedly after my man left. He was indeed right. There was nothing in
the calendar! Leave alone the essential deficits he had mentioned, there was no
indication of even the bank holidays which are very essential for personal
reference! Then why call it a calendar at all? I wondered!
A chance meeting with the manager gave me an opportunity
to vent out my feelings with regards to the calendar. He smiled sheepishly and
said " It is the decision of the headquarters mam." I was not ready
to leave him at that. " But you, local heads, could put it forward to the
right persons and make it even as a customer complaint." " You are right mam." so saying he
opened his diary to note down the point. I was exhilarated by this quick
response!
I was ready and ever willing to remind the man with
regards to my grouse but what do you do when the managers thrown around the
country at the drop of a hat?
Year on year I am destined to receive the same type of
denuded calendar accompanied with the same courtesy and the similar ‘tete et
tete’ from the new set of managers!!
For my part I do a good deed during this period. I
never antagonize the rapport I have with my flower man by presenting him the
'bank calendar'!
